"Sigh..."
That was my first draft of the review you're reading. I still think that it's sufficiently descriptive of what I have to say on this film, but in the interest of clarity I'll elaborate.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor was awful. That's the best way to put it. It was very, very, very bad. It wasn't good at all. I even approached it from the requisite "Just entertain me for 2 hours," viewpoint. That didn't help. It's not entertaining, it's not interesting, it's not at all worth your time.
The script is so bad... I can't grasp how they read through it, let alone shot it. Meandering, unfunny, lengthy dialogue scenes go on forever. There's no energy or charisma. The wittiest parts are dry and awkward, in the worst ways. Even though it follows a string of events we've seen over and over again, it doesn't follow it the right way. At countless times, the story could end at the cost of a shattered diamond or a slightly damaged artifact. Crippling plot holes line the film and no one is going to see past them. At the opening midnight show I went to, more people reacted positively to a Coke ad before the movie than the movie itself. I've never felt such a feeling of quiet and death looming above a theater. And I've been in theaters alone before.
The acting... ugh. It's uniformly grade school level, except there are quite a few great child actors in grade school right now. The trailer, which you've all seen dozens of times by now, I'm sure, has several alternate takes not seen or heard in the film, and they're uniformly better than those used. Likewise, the term "Dragon Emperor," I don't believe was used once, by anyone.
On top of everything else, the effects aren't even good. The CGI is what you'd expect from a direct-to-DVD film right now, and doesn't even match the extremely dated imagery in The Mummy Returns. It's a shame, too, because there are several scenes with seemingly hundreds of live action extras on grand sets. The action scenes are crippled with stupid art design and shitty effects work, and they're not even edited well.
I honestly don't know what happened here. This is just... wrong. I'm not even a huge fan of the first two movies, but this is like a sharp knuckle to the temple, repeated for an hour and forty-five minutes.
There's very little else to say on the film. If the attendance at the midnight show is any indication, no one's gonna see this movie. Still though, don't see this movie.
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August 02, 2008,
Muhammad Jasim
said:
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You make it sound so awful even I dont feel like watching it now!! |
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Votes: +0 |
August 02, 2008,
Nathan Armour
said:
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I agree Jasim! The good thing is, if I do get round to watching it at least I'll be expecting the worse. Im still surprised to how bad you think it is Saul. I mean how could you mess up making another Mummy film :s narm |
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Votes: +0 |
August 02, 2008,
Saul Berenbaum
said:
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I honestly don't know, Narm. Everything's there that was in the others, but it's just not entertaining. I didn't care about anything, at all. Keep in mind, I felt the first half was better than the second, because at around the midway point I realized it just wasn't going to get better. Some scenes are truly just... unwatchable. |
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Votes: +0 |
August 03, 2008,
Nathan Armour
said:
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I suppose I will have to watch it and find out. The first Mummy film I really liked and found the second one dragged on a little too much in places. If this one is worse than the second film, I can quite easily come to agree with your review. narm |
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Votes: +0 |
